I loved her - mostly because she wasn't perfect. She may have been a princess, but she was a princess who showed her seams. She wasn't polite, she wasn't elegant, and she was never shut away in a tower - even when she was cast as needing rescue, she pretty much rescued herself.
She was honest - sometimes brutally so. And she showed me that naming your issues, claiming them, can release you from them much more than hiding and denying them. She guided me in dealing with some of my own issues, and she helped me realize that you are not responsible for the cards fate dealt you - you're just responsible for how you deal with those cards. Never be ashamed of your mental state - although sometimes you should be shamed by your reaction to that state.
But mostly, I was grateful for her insight into dealing with an unusual mother/daughter relationship. When you are as close to your mother as I am, sometimes it's hard to realize that you don't have to be her (or to blame her). That there is daylight between you. The quote from Postcards From The Edge that really struck me was "I don't know your mother, but I'll tell you something. She did it to you
and her mother did it to her and back and back and back all the way to
Eve and at some point you just say, "Fuck it, I start with me."" The freedom to let resentment go gave me the freedom to come back, and to look at my mother honestly and realize how wonderful she truly is. That's one hell of a gift - worthy of any princess. Thank you, Carrie!
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