When A Man Shows You His True Self - Believe Him

My Facebook feed blew up today with the latest Trump scandal - this one catching him in a "hot mic" moment back in 2005, talking about being able to grab women... well, you can read the news about it.  God knows, it's everywhere.  I found myself thinking "well, we knew that he was like that.  He's done and said a lot of terrible things about women... this isn't going to make a difference." and trying to move past it... and I hit a brick wall.  Well, several brick walls.  From my past.


This isn't going to be a fun post.  You might want to skip it (god knows, I do).  But...  when I was a young girl, my great-grandmother got remarried (well, she eloped - frankly, no one in the family approved) to Grandpa John. Grandpa John was a groper - the kind of guy who would kiss a 7 year old on the lips and use tongue.  He slipped his hand down the back of my pants once, before I learned to always, always keep a piece of furniture between us (so did the rest of the women in my family.  We didn't talk about it, we just learned, and watched out for each other.  That's the way you handled it back in the 70s)  Grandpa John was eventually hospitalized and out of our lives... but he left an invisible mark - the knowledge that my body wasn't mine.  Some guy could just grab and take and there wasn't a lot I could do about it.

There were a few other instances over the years that I'm not willing to go into publicly, but that's the way it was, growing up female back then. There were different coping mechanisms - mine was completely divorcing myself from my body.  I built a brick wall around those memories and refused to look at them  Not the healthiest method, but it worked for me - for long enough to make it through and find friends who could wake me back up, and eventually a man who loved me for myself.

But that damage... that damage affected my growth the way an ax cut can affect a tree.  My life changed because of those men, and I don't think it was for the better.  But I hoped that we were moving away from that sort of thing being acceptable - that girls of today wouldn't have to guard themselves the way I did.  Until now.  Now, we're at the point where 40% of America seems to think that this is an appropriate leader.  Not just that he's not reprehensible, but that he could be our *President*.  How on earth can any woman vote for him?  Hell, how could any man who loves a woman vote for him?  I just don't understand - other than if they are as good at ignoring as I am - but I'm having problems ignoring this now that I've seen it.  I'm going to have to build another wall, I'm afraid.  And if I'm building walls... he wins.