Ok, so... as we all know, cancer sucks. It's painful, it's dangerous, it's deadly... but what people don't talk about (because, frankly, we know you all are sick of us whining) is that it's uncomfortable. Seriously - go to any good cancer group, and people aren't going to be talking about the pain - we all know about the pain. We're going to be talking about the itchy skin, or the way differences in air temperature can cause your body to go nuts, or how nothing tastes the same after chemo, or...
In my particular case, it's bladder issues. Because Hank the Tumor is sitting there, right on my bladder, like a malevolent little goblin, I've got the bladder of a permanently 8 1/2 month pregnant woman. Which means that I'm back to wearing diapers - when I was hoping for a second childhood, this is not what I had in mind. Which also means a diaper pail... or at least a trash can devoted to Poise. I had a small can - something like what you would use at a desk, but frankly, it was not doing the job.
So... my birthday was coming up. Once you hit 50, frankly, birthday wishes can be kind of a pain - if I need something, chances are I already have it - but I thought "Ah! A trash can! I'll ask for a slightly larger trash can!" Now... I've mentioned my friend/alternative backup husband Daniel before, but have I mentioned that he's a terrific gift-giver? He's the kind of guy who is always thinking beyond the box, and he's out for all that he can give - he's wonderful, but he can be overwhelming at times. He ended up giving me two different trash cans (because they came as a set), and the one for the bathroom is a 13 gallon stainless steel battery operated masterpiece.
That's right. Battery operated. Which is lovely, and it's great that it opens when I wave at it. But it also opens when my tits wave at it, or someone's butt, or... did I mention that my bathroom is kind of a tight fit? And since it's filling up with used (essentially) diapers, whenever it opens up, there's a distinct eau de truckstop. So, I had to find an odor eliminator - but I think I found the exact one I need. It's from a company called Natural Magic, and the product name is "What Died In There?" Somehow, I think that's just what I needed.
1 comment:
Let me just say that I think it's cool you named your tumor.
Nevertheless, Cancer still sucks. Majorly.
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