Or perhaps it's just that I'm too much with the world. I am seeing anger and frustration and fear on the face of my family - and I can't fix it. Much as I want, I can not do anything to make the world a less frightening place - not even use my words, which is the only weapon I really have left.
I try to see the good in the world, but I don't know if that really helps any. A thousand acts of kindness can be drowned out by one horrifying incident.
I would work for gun control, but let's face it. This specific incident was not because of insufficient gun control, but because an asshole used a gun to mow down his fellow human beings. Concentrating on the gun aspect just gives us a reason to fight each other and ignore the underlying reasons why it happened, not how it happened.
I would fight for better mental health services, but I don't think that would have helped either. This man probably didn't think of himself as sick, just angry. Wrong, so wrong, but angry. Why he felt that his anger was worth more than other human being's lives is something that should be explored, but again, it won't help at this point.
I just can't see a way past this... and the more I think of it, the more depressed I become. So I think it's time to retreat until my soul develops scab tissue, and I can be part of the world again.
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