Friday, October 21, 2016

Memory Well: Dating Rules

I haven't had to think about this for close to 20 years now (Thank whatever deities you choose), but back when I was single, I had a list of basic dating "nevers".  A friend reminded me of them, and I figured I might as well write it down for the edification of whoever comes along after me (no kids to pass this down to, and my goddaughter has managed to find a good man without my advice.  Not, you understand, that I am admitting that she's allowed to date yet.)

I don't know that I can remember them all, but... here goes.

1.  Don't date anyone older than your mother.  I know, seems basic, but remember, mom had me at 17, so it did limit my scope some - but trust me, I never had a daddy fixation, so it worked out ok.

2.  Never date anyone who has to ask his mom for permission.  Or who has a curfew...

3.  Never date anyone who carries an ax in his panel van.  (I did say these were basic, right?)

4.  Never date anyone named Steve.  (Ok, this one is specific to me - but I've dated 3 Steves in my life, and all three were unmitigated disasters.  I've had plenty of friends named Steve, no issue, but dating them apparently turns them into monsters, kind of like feeding a mogwai after midnight.)

5.  Never date anyone who owns more hair products than you do. 

6.  Never date a Republican.  Ok, I broke down on this one, and I'm incredibly glad that I did...  Roger was the best thing to ever happen to me.  But I'm sticking with the other 5 rules. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Does "never date" count?

Republicans should never date Republicans. Democrats should certainly feel free; draws out the tree branches.