It's Who I Am, It's What I Do

The Procuress by Gerrit Van Honthorst

I know I've mentioned this to y'all before (many times), but until I saw the light and retired, one of my main job elements was being a purchasing agent.  A buyer.  A procuress, if you will.  Like Liam Neeson, it's left me with a certain peculiar set of skills.  Unlike Liam Neeson, chances are good that I'm not going to be able to exact a devastating revenge against you and your entire village (although I *was* a buyer for the DoD.  I do know the NAICS code and MilStrip number for an astounding number of obscure armaments... and where to procure them.  But I digress.) 

At any rate... it means that I'm basically dial-a-buy for the majority of my family.  Need to hire an emergency Santa for the family party, and it's December 22nd?  Call Deci.  Some little jerks tagged the Post Office you're running, and you need to know how to get graffiti off brickwork?  Call Deci.  (BTW... on that one - Elephant Snot.  I know, it sounds disgusting, but it's a quality product that will remove a swastika faster than you can make some juvenile delinquent *really* regret his decision making skills.  I figured that this would be a good time to let people know.) 

But mostly, I'm the travel agent for the family.  I'm almost always home, I'm almost *always* in front of my computer - you call me from the road, and I find you a place that's reasonably priced, takes puppies, and has a complimentary breakfast.  It's what I do.

So, when Mom and Aunt Sherri called from the road today, I figured they needed a hotel and was firing up the computer, but no... they just called to say hi.  They were meeting Cassidy, she was getting the hotel, nothing was needed...  I almost felt replaced.  Until 20 minutes later, when Cassidy called in a panic because she didn't have internet access and needed the hotel info... and all was right in the universe again.