Mom and I are both past masters at denial. Our method of dealing with bad news is to slap a brick wall up on that section of our memory, and move on as fast as we can. Cancer, however, is a jerk. A jerk with a sledgehammer. We'll be going along, smooth sailing, for days at a time when something or someone suddenly reminds us that we've got cancer and suddenly, we've got to deal with feelings again. Not our favorite thing in the world.
It was actually easier for me to deal with when it was just my cancer. But now it's coming after my mother, and I don't know how to deal with it. All I know to do is keep going, try to maintain an aura of calm, keep a positive attitude. But inside, back behind that brick wall, I'm a screaming little girl, angry at the universe for hurting my mother.
Her surgical consult is next Monday, and with any luck, she'll be having her hysterectomy and then be cancer-free next week. But I can tell that this is going to be one loooooong week ahead for us.
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