Ethics, Schmethics...

I know that people were voting for change and a whole new ethos in Washington, DC when they voted for Trump.  They were looking for someone who was not a politician, who didn't have political experience - it was seen as a good thing that he had never held political office, and he deliberately didn't hire the obvious people - people who actually knew the job, knew what they were getting into.  As a 26+ year veteran of the civil service, it's been interesting watching the results so far - Executive Orders that are so badly written as to be unusable, people meeting in dark rooms because they can't even figure out how to work a light switch, last second "Oh, wait - we need someone in that position... we take back our acceptance of your resignation, can't you stay a while longer" (seriously - Thursday night before the Inauguration, they were begging people to stay)...

But this latest contretemp...  Kellyanne, honey - were you not listening to yourself when you took that oath of office?  You swore to defend the constitution, not Donald or his family (or god knows, Ivanka's merchandise line), but America itself.  And part of that defense means that yes, you're going to have to accept some limitations on your life for the next four years.  Let me give you a few pointers to help you through this (based on having to take an ethics class every single freaking year for the past quarter century):

A.  First of all - this is your Ethics handbook.  Yes, I know it's 90 pages of "no", but that's what you signed up for.  Standards of Ethical Conduct for the Executive Branch
Oh, there's going to be some additional stuff about lobbying - thank your new boss and check  EO 13770, but basically, don't plan on getting another job in your field for about 5 years.

B.  You can't use your office for your own benefit.  Which includes advertising or recommending any product. Pretty basic stuff, there, but seriously - whether it's selling Girl Scout Cookies or blinged out heels that cost way too much for what they're worth - you can't do it.

C.  You're going to have to report your financial business once a year.  Not just your business, your husband's business as well.  Have fun with that - I recommend a good Riesling. 

D.  Back to the whole sucking up to the boss thing - You're not allowed to give them a gift, let alone try to push their daughter's clothing line. 

E.  For the sake of your fellow civil servants - every time you screw up, we have to take another stupid ethics class.  Seriously, I was shocked that we didn't have to take a firearm's safety class when Cheney shot his friend in the face with a shotgun.  Please... read the damn handbook.