The Universe: "I'll Give You Something To Write About, Girlie!"

 Lately, it feels like life has just been a "a series of unfortunate events".  Even more than usual, I've felt like the universe is tilted against the wind, and while I recognize that I've got absolutely no call to complain when I've survived far longer than my doctors ever thought I would, still... it would be nice to get some breathing room.  But I think I've finally figured it out.

It started out with the double Dad deaths - in the same week, both Roger's father and my own passed away.  At that point, I recognized that yeah...  I had some serious issues that I really hadn't processed around my relationship with the Original Roger (I was thinking of referring to Dad as Roger Prime, but really...  he was grade b chuck at best. My husband is such an upgrade, frankly.) I thought I should probably go ahead and write it out, give myself some thinking room... but I moved on to holiday madness and the feeling passed.  

Then there was my 10 year anniversary of being diagnosed with uncurable cancer and given 18 months... I should have wrote out my feelings of survivor's guilt and my questioning whether or not my current life is worth the pain I live with (yes, by the way - it is. But I can see the day coming when it isn't anymore.)  But I handled that by throwing a party and buying everyone temporary tattoos of a cosmic hourglass on it's side, making light humor out of a morbid day.  It's a coping mechanism and I recognize it as such... but it works.  

So...  the universe apparently decided that I was not paying attention, and maybe I needed a more severe nudge - possibly with a cattle prod.  Necrotizing fasciitis, aka flesheating bacteria eating away half my thigh and putting me flat on my back in a hospital then a nursing home for two months - that ought to get me writing again, right?  Nope. I was too busy/tired/in too much pain to pay attention.  

Which leads us to where we are now...  vague writing, because I can't actually say what's happening, but I get the point.  I'm writing, ok?  I'm writing.  Praying that the talisman of putting words down in this blog of mine will save my family from further savaging by the whims of fate.  I'm going to try for every day, but I'll commit to once a week.